I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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