you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
