so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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