We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
