no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I died a long time ago.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
