So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
