Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
