Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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