The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
