this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
