I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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