How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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