If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
