When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
