We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
