dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
