Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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