I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it was like eating out sand paper
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
