don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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