Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
