I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
