just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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