So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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