I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
