They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
