Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Be still, my beating vagina.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
