he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
