You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
