i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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