not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Acid is not a monday night drug
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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