dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
