We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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