You work out of a Hotel?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize