You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
