the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
