Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
