I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
