i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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