THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
