nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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