So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
