Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
