I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
