I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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