it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
