I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
my shit smells like andre
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
