i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
