Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
