You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
