You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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