NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
