Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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