Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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