That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
