HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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