Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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