Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
