I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
