You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
