i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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