just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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