Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize