Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
