I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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