She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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