been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
