well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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