Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
