You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
