I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just tell him i said nine months
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
