i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
