Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize